Utensil Town
by tayloristhedoctor
Summary: The story of a town where all the people are based on kitchen appliances and utensils...enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**I**

The people of Utensil said that this town was the happiest place in the United States, but this particular morning the town was as grey, bleak, and obsolete as any other. The archaic peeling and cracking paint on the old houses seemed to be as faded as the people who lived in them were. If these walls could talk, on this morning they would be as silent as they were mute. No birds sung, no dogs barked or cried, and not even a single car moved out of its spot. It would have been impossible to any car leave anyway, as the eerie fog had settled down in Utensil overnight. The whole town appeared hungover, ill and feeling the boundaries of death itself.

The people who lived here were not many, and usually were retired people who settled outside the city. Besides them, there were a few families, but mostly adults teaching at the nearby college. The college itself was older than the town, and the people had built the town around the college. The few families that stayed there were usually drop outs, or students who couldn't find a place to live anywhere else. There was no town hall, and all town meetings were held in the museum, where the library was located as well. Small towns were known to be full of friendly and close people, but the folk here were anything but. The only source of real happiness, it seemed like, came from the students in the college itself, doing God-knows-what with God-knows-whom.

Needless to say, nothing about this town seemed like the happy and cheery place the people had praised, but it will make do for the setting now. Everything in this town ran by compromise, so it would seem illogical for the writer not to compromise on its setting. But nevertheless, this is where the story begins, as most stories do tend to start at the beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

II

November 2nd, 2014

The academy was teeming with life, and by that, meaning that every single person there was in class. Perhaps asleep, doodling, or anything but paying attention, but still; alive and in class. The Head of the Mathematic Department, Professor Ladle, continued with his tiring lecture.

"…and as you find the derivative of the tangent function, which is secant squared people, you will be able to find the rate of the theta angle, and this will be needed to find the equation of…"

Professor Ladle looked, and was, a sad old man. He had a come-over that hid nothing but his shiny bald head. The only hair really left on his head was his eyebrows covering half of his eyes, and his bushy mustache that hadn't been taken care of for a few days. His sad eyes reflected his sad life; a widower, who had no other living family, teaching at a school and living in a town that was as dead as his soul was.

No sounds could be heard except the monotone voice of Professor Ladle, and the occasional typing on a phone or laptop. Students, bored of the lecture since they had entered the class, found other ways to entertain themselves. Butter Knife was shooting spitballs at his sister, Steak Knife. Fork and Blender whispered about the plays possible for the next football game, while the Chopstick Twins sat in the back, writing notes to one another in an ancient cipher. Pizza Cutter doodled pictures of her favorite couples, or "ships," from her favorite web comics and shows into her journal, where any kind of study notes were desolate.

It wasn't until half an hour into class when something amazing happened; a mysterious stranger arrived. Any new person was a miracle in this town, but no one in this town had seen anything quite like her before. She walked into this melancholy class like nobody's business, and everyone paid attention. She had an aura of power surrounding her, as if she was the master and all the students were servants that bent down at her three inch heels. She might have been not only 5 feet tall, but her eyes were enough to strike down any big buff football player. You and I know someone just like her; not someone as evil as Umbridge, but close enough that the sight of her would give you chills.

She introduced herself in no time flat.  
"Hello, class. I am the new Headmaster for this lousy excuse of a school. The old Headmaster…had some business to take care of, but I assure you that she will no longer be teaching here again. This school has obviously been slacking, and even a dunce would have more of an education than you. I have been called to properly raise this school to a proper learning level. That is all."

And she dismissed herself as quickly as she came.

The students looked at one another, and tried to comprehend what this alien was saying.

" _Lousy excuse for a school…?"_

" _The Headmaster…left?"_

" _Proper learning level?"_

No one, not even Professor Ladle, could comprehend the quick visit. He stood frozen, with his mouth agape. What did this mean? What would it mean for his class? _What would happen to HIM?_

All the class could agree on, however, was that this new comer was not welcome by the students, thank you very much.


	3. Chapter 3

No one knew where the old headmaster had gone, but everyone knew that this new one was not like the old. Her name was Tuppleware, and she meant _business._ Before the school seemed melancholy, old, and not quite dragged out of bed; this new woman snapped the school into focus and choked it on its collar.

Now, not to the Umbridge extent – in fact, more and more spirit had been seen at the school. For the first time, Utensil hosted a pep rally for a football game. Although it seemed like a drag, the students all agreed it had been the most exciting event to happen for a while – bigger than some marriages or funerals. In fact, the football team had won their first football game in 12 years. This was something new.

Professors came to classes on time.

Students actually goofed off instead of slept. A couple studied, but most study groups turned into laughter and inside jokes.

Parties began to start up.

Even though there was harsher rules and more hitting-of-a-ruler-if-you-were-slouching kind of things, this small hick town was starting to light up.

The only lightbulb not lighting up was the question of the missing headmaster. But, when you start to have fun, make friends, and feel alive again, why question it?

"If life is going good, then it's going good."

That was the philosophy of most of the students, anyhow.

One stood out.

Her name was Spoon. Spoon Tuppleware to be exact, thank you very much.

While it may be nice to be the daughter of the celebrated headmaster, it's never easy to come into a new place where everyone else has known each other for a long time. Especially when being bullied is a part of past experiences. Yikes.

People whispered and stared as she swept her way into every class. However, the more the gawking the less sweeping she did, and by the end of the day she crawled into class like the way a snail slowly slips by with its head still under its shell.

While her mother could remain confident in her divorce and still blow dust onto every obstacle in her path, Spoon couldn't say the same.

Three weeks went by and slowly the whispering went down. She was offered party by party: invite by invite. Whether this was due to her appearance, her personality, or the impact of her mother's behavior was inconclusive. But it went to say that she surely became one of the more popular kids very quickly.

While everyone looked at her busts, her skipping steps, her wealth, or her mother's looming shadow, only one dared to stare into her star-freckled eyes.

His name was Fork.

Now, everyone knows that forks and spoons sit on separate sides of the plate, so as they lived on opposite sides of the college world. While she laughed and cheered on the sidelines, he worked the ball to the field. When she was in class rushedly taking notes, his eyes rolled over to dream of worlds where he became the Superman to her Lois Lane.

Everyone asks at this point, "Why didn't he ask her out? He totally would've gotten the girl."

While this is true, there was only thing separating them. The utensil clinging to the knife the most out of everyone. It is the utensil some are afraid of, and are cut due to misuse. This made sure no one stood in its way. After all, the fork and the spoon are segregated.

Thus, the fork and the steak knife stuck together – forever.

And this is what she – Steak Knife – planned to do.


	4. Chapter 4

He sat inside the coffee shop, waiting.

The rain beat slowly against the window, its rhythm like pounding drums of an ancient tribal tradition now forgotten. Its drops slowly dripped down the glass. Though the translucent water decorated the window like stained glass, the sight of clouds was enough to turn any sort of joy into despair.

Just like the world around him, his eyes and his heart was drooped down and took on the feeling of the word "grey": bleak, obsolete, and no emotion or dream left inside.

Fingers tapped their way across the lacquered wood, an offsetting orange to the monochromatic world around him. The fingers were long and lacy; made for dancing across guitars and pianos. But instead of being painted with music notes and heart-strung melodies, they were blank: empty. Everyone knows that emotions are needed to write or play any kind of song. At the moment, the only dance the fingers knew was the first ten seconds to "Seven Nation Army."

As soon as the door hit the chiming bell, he snapped to attention.

She was there, and you couldn't NOT pay attention.

Not because she was beautiful. Oh, she was, don't get her wrong. But the aura she carried around with her was bold, and loud. Her glaring eyes danced around the eyes of those in her infuriated path. Maybe it was the dark clothes, the piercings, the spiked up hair, or her piercing look, but she gave off an edgy sign: "stay away."

Although he loved her once for her confidence and dauntless attitude, she now seemed more like an annoyance than anything else. Just an annoyance to keep an eye on, since her cold revenge was worse than anything else on this beloved earth.

He kept up a smile and faked his infatuation.

"Hello there, gorgeous."

"Hello to you too, Fork."

Her voice was cold, even though her voice was warm. She leaned in for a quick peck, which he did with a little hesitation. She seemed to notice, since she didn't sit down right away.

"I saw your past couple football games, the team has gotten really good. Winning four games in a row is a surprise, even for you Fork."

Finally, some kind of relief; this would get his negative thoughts out of the way. "Yeah, the coach has started to look alive again. He's more competitive and wild than ever."

He leaned in and whispered, "I think he's showing off for the new headmaster. Since she came he's been coming into the office every day and started talking about the team all the sudden."

A stare was met at him. "Yes, I suppose the new headmaster is a force to be reckoned with. What about her daughter? You know her very well?"

"I don't know her at all, honestly. We haven't even had a conversation."

This wasn't a lie. Fork had been too nervous to even approach or say hi to her.

"Steak Knife, you know I'm not going to talk to other girls when I have you."

Steak Knife leaned into his ear and whispered "I'm glad; I had a sense you didn't want me anymore."

He shuddered and his spine coiled. His arm hair stood straight up.

Her lips touched his ear, "and if you ever decide to leave me for that Spoon girl I will unleash hell on you."

"A-ar-are you threatening me?" he yelped back.

"I will not allow my place in your heart to go to some chubby oblivious girl that wandered into this town."

He flushed. "Do you realize how stupid YOU sound?! You can't go around insulting something you don't even know! You can't get jealous of someone who hasn't even been here for a month!"

She roared back. "I can if she means competition for you!"

"I STOPPED LOVING YOU A LONG TIME AGO!"

Gasps were heard all the coffee shop. He recoiled as quickly as he screamed. The both of them were shaking.

"I – I – I"

It was too late. Her face couldn't decide if it was infuriated or desolate. Her tears were full of heartbreak.

"I hope you're happy with this choice, Fork. I will make sure you will regret this for every moment of your life."

She stormed out, not even giving him a chance to reply.

Yes he was free, yes it was the honest truth, but did he really mean to tell her like THAT? Certainly not.

He was free, but at what cost?


End file.
